Transfer Update
With Wimbledon apparently in a free-falling decline, the manager - a secret underground figure known only as 'The Roid' - has stepped in and a new recruit has been brought in.
The yellow Angry Bird, better known by his nickname 'Zlatan Imbrahimovic', is a pacey centre-forward with a devastating burst of speed. His off-the-ball movement is often described as 'direct' or 'straight', while his finishing is erratic. Has a pathological hatred of pigs.
Initial reports have the deal as undisclosed, but inside sources have revealed the deal with worth 69p, with the yellow Angry Bird leaving his previous home in the Apple Store.
Jamie Miles will be very sad to see we are signing a rival striker. I also vote we get Tesfaye Bramble in (i.e the big black one that explodes, sometimes in the wrong place)
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